“Broken hearts hurt but they make you strong…”thus spake a song from Juno! In my experience that’s hardly true – not just my own but a lot of others who I know and have share a hearty chat. Broken hearts leave you more brittle than where you started off initially.
There comes a time when you want to move on from a heart broken, sad song playlist, “the world is mean and selfish” mode to something softer, sweeter, gentler and happier. You can smell the sweet scent of roses as you pass by the florist but something deep inside you hits the alarm button. The heart retracts into its solitary dungeon. “Do not disturb”.
You feel it’s ok, you have friends you can talk to. Your weekends are boring but bearable. You have found yourself a new life – the one that will keep you afloat in the troubled waters. But you know you are a bouy, afloat but stagnant.
In love, life could be fun but the risk of heartbreak seems to overpower every other possible bright side to it. You have tried to give it a shot but realised that people are just repeating the patterns. Breaking hearts on their way home. And you try to convince yourself that the whole relationship world is screwed up. Why bother! Happy to be a spinster! (or bachelor boy) !!
So, in this obvious pendulum of emotions where does one go to find the answer. When should you let go of your fear. If you knew the time, would you have the guts to let go? The answers are not easy. And they are far from being cookie cut!
I don’t claim to give you answers but I do have a starting point.
“To fly you have to let go of your fear of falling.”
You could as well stay on the ground – walking your way around. Never once needing to do anything more. Life will pass by relatively easily. No broken wings or hearts. No burnt fingers. And that’s a choice we all have by default. Take no action and you are on the ground. There is no harm in it.
But then God save you if you are a hopeless romantic. And I know all my ‘once heartbroken’ friends are hopeless romantics! And the point is you wanna fly. The day you were born your tiny wings flippaty flapped before you could even tap your feet!
The heart wants what the heart wants! And you better give in than give up!
So it’s just the matter of convincing yourself that it’s ok for the once bitten to be twice shy. But what when you get a third chance. Or the fourth or the fifth chance??
Try. Just once more. It’s not guaranteed that it will turn out to be the “Happy ever after” story. But then there is no such thing as “happy ever after”. There is only “here and now” and the question is – is this how you want to spend your every single “here and now”???Tweet
I guess you know the answer as much as I do. Love may be short lived or it may last several lifetimes. It may have hurt you like hell once or twice or maybe even thrice. But then I can assure you the fourth time around you will find it as sweet or perhaps even sweeter.
Give the person who likes you or who you like a chance. Someone you find yourself more meaningful engaged in life with.
There’s enough science and philosophy to help us understand that we are all terribly alone. That’s why we seek life on other planets. That’s why nature has eased our muscle work required to smile. We can be alone. But we can be together too.
Bet wise though. I am not suggesting going head over heels for the next person who knocks your door or wearing your heart instead of a neck tie. Love is a precious gift. Hand it over carefully.
And when you do try not to be stingy. You will worry what if this new person should give you same treatment you got the last time? Well, so you want the best in love by giving in the least. I doubt it works that way.
Give more than you gave the first time. Give more freely than you did the first time. You will realise that the most basic fallacy in love most people harbour. They want maximum returns from every subsequent relationship. But they keep investing lesser and lesser into it. If you were awake in your economics class (I wasn’t then but later I learnt! 🙂 ) you would know that lower your investment lower will be your returns.
“BUT HOW DO I KNOW IF THIS PERSON WONT BREAK MY HEART AGAIN?”, you must be screaming by now!
The answer is – no one can tell. But how about one small chance. Just a tiny little one!
You owe that yourself now, don’t you?!
Finding my way back into love… Phir mohabbat karne chala hai tu…..